Thoughts When I’m Down

It’s been a bit of a rough week, health-wise and emotionally. Here are some thoughts.

Nothing compares. Absolutely nothing. If someone were to ask me, “What’s the best thing about your life?” I can answer, honestly and without hesitation, “Knowing my Father.” My most wonderful loves here only make sense within Him.
If He were to uproot us and ask us to move to another planet to install highway signs (recent dream of mine), we’d say yes. With no family, no experience, leaving behind all the plans and talents we thought we’d been given, we’d have Jesus. Nothing compares.
That’s why my mom sees my mood change when he starts talking about things that are leading him astray. It’s not that I’m butting in and thinking he might have made some different choices or might consider looking at things differently – it’s because I have a tiny drop of an idea of the LIFE he’s missing. LIFE! Nothing compares.

There’s nothing like sitting in a huge sanctuary and feeling the deafening thunder for reminding you of how awe-some and awe-ful our God is.

I’m tired of church “shopping.” I wish all I had to do was dive in and start planting roots. Instead, because of our poor, fractured Church, little old me tries to determine which church is following Him in Spirit and Truth. Then I’m left comparing worship styles, congregational age, and driving distance. I just want to worship and love.

God is so good. Tonight after church I just wanted to come back to my apartment and cry my loneliness and weakness out by myself. Two older couples stopped me before I left. I think I have a date for dinner and dominoes soon…

Graduate school is hard. My family’s not convinced this is where I’m supposed to be. They keep reminding me that I can drop out and move home anytime. This is not helping! I know I’m supposed to be here. God has confirmed me at every step. Abandoning the path that I know is right just because it has some big rocks in it is giving in to the enemy. God will sustain me, but He never said it would be easy. In fact, I feel like the harder it is, the more I’m supposed to press forward. “What is this fire that grows stronger against the wind?”

End random thoughts.


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